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A 2010 study with possibly the most resonant title of all time — "Adult attachment and dating strategies: How do insecure people attract mates?" — researchers asked a question that's been haunting daters since probably forever: If self-assuredness is an attractive quality, how do insecure people date successfully?

In a study of personal ads (the ancient predecessor of Tinder), author Richard Wiseman found that both women and men were turned off by ads that were 100% about the writer — it made them seem self centered.In case you need one final push: The researchers are very clear that "the data suggested there was no such thing as too quick a reply." We've been taught that the perfect first date is something out of a rom-com starring Anne Hathaway: a candlelit dinner followed by a long walk under twinkling street lights, then a cinematic first kiss, ideally in the rain. Then you and your never-to-be are stuck awkwardly sitting in the dark over two useless courses.Actual relationship experts think you should skip the roses and caviar and a grab a drink instead.If you wait a whole month, your chances go down by almost a fifth.They also found that people who were already chatting with someone were more likely to respond to messages from other people — "activity begets more activity," in the words of the researchers.

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